


Turning Japanese

by WolfAndHound_Archivist



Category: Harry Potter - J. K. Rowling
Genre: Angst, Post-Sirius in Azkaban, Romance, Sex
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2016-02-06
Updated: 2016-02-06
Packaged: 2018-05-18 14:28:09
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 4,064
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/5931733
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/WolfAndHound_Archivist/pseuds/WolfAndHound_Archivist
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Music and memories</p>
            </blockquote>





	Turning Japanese

**Author's Note:**

> Note from Lassenia, the archivist: this story was originally archived at [Wolf and Hound](http://fanlore.org/wiki/Wolf_and_Hound), which was created to make stories posted to the Sirius_Black_and_Remus_Lupin Yahoo! mailing list easier to find. However, even though I still love the fandom, I am no longer active in it and do not have the time to maintain it. To preserve the archive, I began manually importing its works to the AO3 as an Open Doors-approved project in December 2015. I posted an announcement with Open Doors, but we may not have reached everyone. If you are (or know) this creator, please contact me using the e-mail address on the [Wolf and Hound collection profile](http://archiveofourown.org/collections/wolfandhound/profile).

Sirius was waiting for him at the kitchen door. Remus stepped into his embrace, dropping his head on the broad shoulder. Sirius stroked his back gently.

"It's good to be back," he said into Sirius's neck.

"Yes." After a moment Sirius pulled him into the house. "Sit down. I'll make you some tea. The way you like it," he added hastily.

"Thanks." Remus sat at the kitchen table and watched Sirius put the kettle on. He braced himself.

"How was it?" Sirius asked, staring into the mug he'd taken from a cabinet.

"Not too bad this time. It went fairly smoothly." They had been clean kills this time, at least.

"Did you see-- anybody?"

Remus paused. "I saw the people I was sent to-- take care of, and my contact. I didn't see Severus," he added, and watched as Sirius's hand on the mug relaxed slightly. "How were things here?"

"Oh, it was all right. Nothing happened." Sirius poured the boiling water. "Harry sent me a package."

"What? How?" He accepted the mug from Sirius with a frown. "Please tell me he didn't owl you." They'd asked Harry not to tell anyone that Sirius was living in Remus's house, let alone that they were lovers.

"He didn't owl me," Sirius said obediently, then grinned. "No, it came by Muggle post. Addressed to-- well, I'll show you." He left the kitchen; Remus heard him walking about in the living room. Then he re-appeared with an empty box in his hand. "Someone," Sirius mock- glared, "must have told my godson that my Muggle name was Cyril."

"Oh really? I wonder who that could have been." Remus sipped his tea nonchalantly.

Sirius dropped the box in front of him. It was addressed to "Cyril P. Foote." Remus laughed. "What was in it?"

Sirius smiled. "Come to the living room and I'll show you."

Intrigued, Remus followed him. Sirius was standing proudly beside a machine of some kind. "Is that a--" Remus searched for the word. "One of those DC players?"

"A CD player," Sirius corrected him loftily. "And it's for you."

Remus blinked. "Is it? Why?"

"For your birthday," Sirius said, as if that should have been self- evident.

"My birthday isn't for three months," Remus said carefully. Sirius still had the occasional memory lapse, but he'd remembered when Remus's birthday was without any trouble the previous two years.

"I know. But I didn't know how-- well, Harry told me about these during his visit and so I asked him if he'd help me buy one and he just sent it. I didn't tell him it was for you." Sirius was watching him closely. "Do you-- I mean, Harry said they don't really make records any more, and we could get all those bands you like on disc, and it would sound better. So I thought--"

Remus smiled. "It's a good idea. Thank you." He kissed Sirius warmly. "Thank you," he repeated.

Sirius returned the kiss. "Harry sent some CDs, too."

"Oh? What did he send?" Remus realized he had no idea what sixteen- year-old boys listened to now.

Sirius picked up a handful of CDs and showed them to Remus. "These."

"New Wave Hits of the 80s?" Remus read incredulously.

"He said something about helping me catch up on what I'd missed."

"You didn't miss much," Remus said without thinking, then regretted it as the blue eyes darkened. He amended, "Not in music, at least."

"Oh, I don't know." Sirius was clearly making an effort. "I seem to have missed some real treasures." He looked at the CD he was holding. "This 'Do You Really Want to Hurt Me' song, for one." He raised his eyebrows. "That was a hit?"

"Well, **I** didn't buy it," Remus defended himself.

"Good. I worried about that one."

"Sirius!"

A laugh. "Actually, I did like a few of these."

"Which ones?" He asked curiously.

"Oh, well-- this one." Sirius put one of the CDs into the player and pressed the play button. A vaguely Oriental-sounding riff played, and then a man's voice began singing.

"I've got your picture of me and you You wrote I love you, I love you too I sit there staring and there's nothing else to do Oh it's in color, your hair is brown Your eyes are hazel and soft as clouds I often kiss you when there's no one else around."

Remus couldn't help it. He laughed. "That one? Why on earth?"

Flushing, Sirius stopped the CD. "It's that line about your hair and eyes. And looking at the picture. It-- um, it makes me think of you."

Now he felt guilty for laughing. "Oh." He leaned over and pressed the play button again.

"I've got your picture, I've got your picture I'd like a million of them all round my cell."

Sirius glanced at Remus, then away quickly.

"I asked the doctor to take your picture So I can look at you from inside as well You've got me turning up and turning down And turning in and turning 'round

I'm turning Japanese I think I'm turning Japanese I really think so--"

"And it's catchy as hell," Sirius said loudly over the music. They listened to the chorus repeating. And then the singer chanted:

"No sex, no drugs, no wine, no women No fun, no sin, no you, no wonder it's dark Everyone around me is a total stranger Everyone avoids me like a psyched lone ranger, everyone..."

Remus saw Sirius shiver slightly. The chorus started again, and Sirius turned the volume down. "It sounds familiar. Did we listen to this together? Before?"

Before that Halloween night, he meant. Before Azkaban. "Um..." Remus thought. "Perhaps. I think this song was out by then. But I never bought the record. We might have heard it in a pub."

"Okay." Sirius rubbed his forehead. "I couldn't quite work that out. Sometimes--" He hesitated for a second. "Sometimes things seem familiar and I don't know why."

Remus waited, but Sirius didn't seem to want to say anything more. "Like a memory that's not quite a memory?" He hazarded.

"Mm. Yes." Sirius sat on the sofa. "Anyway, I like this song."

Remus went along with the change of subject. "You know, I heard that when they released it in America, people there thought it was about wanking." He sat next to Sirius.

"What?"

"Wanking. You know," he said, unable to resist the temptation to tease Sirius, "masturbation."

Sirius rolled his eyes. "I remember **that** , Moony. It's just-- wanking? Hm. Well, I suppose if the bloke is looking at the picture, and kissing it--" He stopped. "Oh. I see. Right." He leaned over and shut off the music.

A sudden, wicked thought occurred to Remus. "Siri? Did you look at my picture ... like that ... when I was away?"

Sirius dropped his face into his hands. "Moony!"

"Well, it's a reasonable question," Remus said logically. "I was away for three weeks, after all. One might well suppose that certain urges would--"

"Moony!" Sirius yelled again.

Remus laughed. "That means yes, doesn't it?"

"Well, I didn't kiss your photograph." Sirius looked disgusted. "But I, er-- oh, hell. You should take it as a compliment, you know. Instead of laughing at me."

"Oh, I do." He slid closer to Sirius and put his hand on his lover's thigh, squeezing it lightly. "I do." He found Sirius's admission astonishingly arousing, and wanted to hear more. "So, is this a, um, a long-time habit?"

Sirius surprised him by laughing. "Moony, I do remember being a teenager. Yes, of course."

Remus chuckled too. "No, I mean, you thinking about me."

Soberly now, Sirius looked at him intently. "Same answer. Even before we ... started, I used to think about you. Imagine you." He kissed Remus's mouth. "Then I found out that the reality was so much better than my imagination."

"Given your extremely active imagination, I'll definitely take that as a compliment." He let his hand slide up and down Sirius's leg.

"Moony? What about you? Do you ever--" Sirius kissed his ear, his neck. "You know."

"Yes." They were so close now that he was almost sitting in Sirius's lap. "Of course."

"And while I was ... in prison? What did you do then?" Sirius had pulled back slightly.

Remus's heart clenched.

Sirius went on. "I know you didn't-- you weren't with anyone else until you-- until that last year. But--" He bit his lip. "Did you think about me like that?" A raw whisper.

How was he supposed to explain this? He couldn't slight Sirius with anything less than the truth, but-- "I did, and I didn't." He couldn't look into the blue eyes any longer, so he stared across the room. "I didn't want to. So I would try to think of something else. Someone else." When he couldn't resist any more. When he woke in the mornings hard and aching, wishing desperately for that brief, mindless release.

Sirius was motionless beside him, still pressed up against his body.

"And I'd-- you know, get going. But I always-- I couldn't come unless I thought of you. So sometimes ... I didn't." He would stop, pull his hand away, stare dry-eyed at the ceiling until his arousal faded. "But sometimes I just remembered you. Your mouth. Your hands. Your skin. Your smell." And then he would come explosively, wracked with guilt and anger and hatred. "It wasn't-- I didn't--" He realized that he was shaking, and turned his head into Sirius's shoulder.

Sirius put an arm around him tentatively, then gripped him harder as Remus pushed into him. "Oh, Moony."

"I'm sorry." He didn't know quite what he was apologizing for.

"Don't be." Sirius stroked his hair. "I shouldn't have asked."

"No, it's okay," he made himself say. And he had needed to tell Sirius.

They were quiet for a minute, until Sirius dropped a kiss on his hair and said, "I didn't. At all."

Remus lifted his head in surprise. "What?"

"I didn't masturbate when I was in prison," Sirius said evenly, as if he'd practiced it. Perhaps he had.

All Remus could think of to say was, "Why not?"

A sigh. "You need a good thought for that. A good memory. I ... didn't have any."

"Oh," he whispered. At least he'd had his memories and been able to take pleasure in them, however momentary. However bitter. It struck him yet again that they had both been beset by memory, wanted and unwanted, during those twelve years. "Oh, Siri." He waited, but Sirius didn't say anything else. He decided to venture another question. "So when did you-- um, start again?"

"When did I return to my usual sex-obsessed self, you mean?" Sirius said lightly. But there was still a shadow in his eyes. "Well... After we met again." His voice dropped. "After I knew again what it was like to hold you in my arms."

His throat ached. He kissed Sirius's cheek, his lips. He couldn't think of anything to say to that.

Sirius tightened his hold on Remus. "What's it like now? When you remember?"

"When I remember us, you mean?" He relaxed a little against Sirius's strong warm body. "It's good. It's very-- it feels good to remember something from, I don't know, fifth year, and not have to try to shove it away."

"Mm. Tell me something you remember from then. Fifth year." Sirius started stroking his hair.

Remus thought. "One day you swapped the cushioning charm on James's broom stick with a flexibility charm so that the entire broom flopped in his hands when he picked it up. He just stood there looking at it for about ten seconds with his mouth hanging open. Then he yelled, 'Sirius Black! Tonight when you're sleeping I'm going to shave your eyebrows off!' You thought that was the most ridiculous threat you'd ever heard. You laughed so hard you couldn't even stand up."

He watched as Sirius's eyes went distant for a bit while he searched for the memory. It was like a filing cabinet with all the papers out of place, Sirius had said to him once. A cache of disordered memories. Then Sirius laughed. "Oh yes. I mean, where did that come from? My **eyebrows**?"

"Well, it didn't help that then you equated the condition of his broom stick with, er, his stick." Remus grinned.

Sirius laughed again. "And you would have said that too, if you'd thought of it first."

"Too true," Remus said, chuckling.

They were quiet again for a little while. The shadow had almost completely gone from the blue eyes.

"Moony?" The hand stroked through his hair again, caressed his cheek, tilted his face up.

"Yes?" Remus turned his head and kissed the warm fingers.

"What's one of the-- I mean, when you think about me when you're ... what do you think about?"

Remus paused. "You just want me to talk dirty to you, don't you?" He tried to sound censorious.

Clearly he'd failed, because Sirius grinned widely. "Oh yeah." He leaned closer and kissed Remus deeply, then pulled back. "And you know you want to tell me."

Remus bit at Sirius's long throat. "Yes," he murmured. He pushed Sirius down onto the sofa and straddled him, leaning over him and kissing his face as he spoke. "Let's see ... the last time you were away I had a bath one afternoon and thought about the first time we broke into the Prefects' Bathroom at school."

Sirius's eyes gleamed. "I remember that. You were nervous that what's-her-name would catch us, so you--"

He bit the spot just above Sirius's collarbone. "Who's telling this story? I cast a couple of locking spells and made you strip for me. You couldn't get out of your clothes fast enough. Neither could I."

"Good thing I wasn't wearing anything under my robe." Sirius put his arms around Remus and started sliding his hands up and down his back.

"Yes, so much for the strip tease." He nibbled Sirius's earlobe gently. "Then I sat on the edge of the bath while you knelt in the water. You rubbed my feet and legs, but you wouldn't touch my cock."

"That was the teasing part," Sirius explained, a little breathlessly.

"Obviously. Finally I had to grab your hair--" He wound his fingers through the black locks to demonstrate. "And show you what I wanted."

Sirius shifted and got his thigh between Remus's legs. "You didn't last long, as I recall."

"How could I, with those lips wrapped around my cock?" He kissed the lips in question. "So that's what I remembered, lying in the bath. And then--"

"There's more? You randy bastard." Sirius ran his hands down Remus's back and squeezed his arse.

"All right, fine. I won't tell you." He slid his hand between them and started unbuttoning Sirius's shirt.

Sirius gasped when Remus touched one of his nipples. "Moony ... I'm sorry. Tell me."

He pinched the nipple under his fingers. "You really want to know?"

"Yes!" Sirius worked his hand down the back of Remus's trousers. "Please."

"Well ... all right," he said, feigning reluctance. "After that time in the bath I thought of the time a few months ago when I came outside and you were lounging about the garden with your shirt off, you hedonist."

"I was working!"

"Right, while lying on your back with your eyes closed." He ground his erection against Sirius's belly. "So I crept up and grabbed you."

"Yes, you did," Sirius said lasciviously. "I was naked before I knew what was happening."

"Mm... part of you knew what was happening." He slid down Sirius's body and kissed his chest. "And was very interested." He cupped his hand over Sirius's bulging groin. "Especially once I started sucking you off."

"Oh yes. Moony--" Sirius pushed his hips up.

Remus stroked Sirius through his trousers. "You looked gorgeous. Lying there on the grass, just waiting for me."

"Like I am now," Sirius gasped. "Please --"

Remus kept fondling him. "I just couldn't resist you. Can't resist you."

Sirius tugged on Remus's hair, pulling him up, and kissed him. "Good. Being irresistible usually turns out well for me." Another deep kiss.

"I'm sure it will this time as well," he murmured into Sirius's ear. He loved the feeling of Sirius stretched out underneath him, long and muscular and wanting him.

"I certainly hope so." Sirius grabbed his arse, pushing up against him. They kissed again. Sirius's long fingers worked up under Remus's shirt, hauling it up; Remus shifted a little and Sirius yanked the shirt off over his head, then pulled him down again and kissed his lips, the dimple on his chin, his throat. Strong hands clamped on Remus's arse and urged him forward as Sirius slid down under him, kissing and licking as he went. The hot tongue circled a nipple, trailed down to his navel, and paused.

"Siri--"

"Mm?" The little hum came right against his groin.

Remus reached down, unbuttoned his trousers, and tried to push them down. He made a little noise of frustration when he couldn't get them off fully; Sirius chuckled and helped. Together they hauled at the trousers and boxers until they were off. Impatiently, Remus knelt over Sirius again. Sirius licked his lips deliberately before running his tongue over Remus's erection. "Oh, yes." Remus tried not to shove his hips forward.

Sirius looked up at him. "D'you know what I'd like?"

"For me to fuck your mouth?" Remus said hopefully.

"Hmmm..." Another one of those long licks over his cock. "No."

"Well? What?" He bit back a moan as Sirius flicked his tongue all over the head of his prick. "Tell me."

"I'd like--" A lick. "For you to touch yourself--" Lick. "While you tell me one of your fantasies." Lick. "And then come in my mouth."

"Christ!" Remus got even harder. He grabbed his prick and started stroking it.

"So, you'll do it then?" The long tongue kept darting out and touching him tantalizingly.

Remus settled himself more comfortably astride Sirius's chest. "Oh, hell yes." Now to decide which fantasy to share. He thought for a moment, still touching himself. "Okay. In this one we're in Muggle London, and no one knows who we are. So I send you to a night club, and I walk in half an hour later."

"What are we wearing?" Sirius interrupted.

"I don't know. Clothes. I walk in--"

"I think you're wearing those leather trousers." Sirius caressed his arse.

"Okay, fine. I'm wearing the leather trousers, and you're wearing-- " He tried to remember something from Sirius's wardrobe. "That blue shirt." That was safe. Sirius had at least half a dozen blue shirts. "And black jeans. You look fantastic. I pretend I don't know you, and I ask you if I can buy you a drink." He pumped his cock slowly.

"Oh, a pick-up fantasy."

"Right. You say yes, of course. We have our drinks, and then you tell me you'd like to go outside for a smoke." Remus started playing with his balls; they tightened under his touch. He drew in a deep breath. "We go to the alley behind the club and I kiss you. You melt into my arms." He quickened his movements, stroking himself faster. "You're so hot for it you push me against the wall and shove your hand down my trousers." He was panting now. "You start playing with me and it feels so good. Just your hand... and your lips..."

The images surging up in his mind, combined with the reality of having Sirius under him, still toying with the head of his prick, were bringing him closer and closer to climax. He forced his eyes open and looked down at Sirius, who was staring up at him hotly. "Oh God. And I--" Pleasure surged through him abruptly. "Oh!" He shoved his cock into Sirius's mouth; the enclosing wet heat sent him over the edge, and he came in a series of ecstatic spasms, gasping. After a minute he pulled back reluctantly.

Sirius moved up until he was sitting with Remus on his lap, and embraced him. "Wow," he said eventually.

Remus put his head on Sirius's shoulder. "Did you enjoy that?"

"Very much." Sirius drew Remus's hand to his crotch. "See?"

He unzipped Sirius's trousers and pulled his cock out. "I certainly do." He wrapped his hand around the waiting erection and fisted it, rubbing the soft head against his belly with each stroke.

"Is there more to that fantasy?" Sirius whispered breathlessly.

"There certainly is." He bit Sirius's throat lightly. "After I come all over your hand, you push your trousers down and face the wall. Then you reach behind yourself and make yourself ready for me with my come."

Sirius moaned and thrust up into Remus's hand. Feeling Sirius's arousal as his lover moved against him made Remus hard again too. He kept nibbling at the soft, sweaty skin of Sirius's throat; Sirius took hold of his arse and pulled him even closer.

"And then..." Sirius prompted.

He'd almost forgotten the game they were playing. "And then I slide into you. I want to go slowly but I can't."

Sirius trailed his fingers into Remus's cleft and touched his opening very gently, circling it with one finger.

"I can't," he repeated. "So I slide straight in. And you love it." He fisted Sirius's cock insistently. His own excitement grew as he felt Sirius respond eagerly to his touch.

"Yes," Sirius murmured. He brought one hand to Remus's erection and stroked him with the same rhythm Remus was using on him. "I do."

"You push back against me. You feel incredible. Hot and tight and all mine." He realized he was growling a little. He pressed forward into Sirius's fist and back against the finger still caressing his entrance.

"Oh yes. Yours..." Sirius turned his head and kissed him deeply, slipping his tongue into Remus's mouth. Remus sped up, caressing Sirius faster and faster, feeling Sirius begin to shake against him. Then Sirius bit Remus's lower lip and came with a groan, spurting over Remus's hand and belly. His own hand on Remus's cock had almost stopped moving; Remus grabbed Sirius's hand and moved it up and down urgently, twining their fingers together and spreading Sirius's come over himself. The finger at his entrance pressed in slightly just as Sirius squeezed his cock firmly. The combination sent desire and pleasure speeding along his nerves; he tensed in Sirius's hold, feeling his arousal mount and mount until it exploded through him and he climaxed again.

Slowly Remus realized that Sirius was holding them both up, and he let himself sag back against the arm of the sofa, still sitting astride Sirius's legs.

"We've made a bit of a mess," Sirius remarked after a moment.

"Mm." Remus couldn't make himself care. He looked at Sirius, still flushed with pleasure, eyes dilated slightly, hair hanging in loose tangles around his face, and smiled.

Sirius smiled back.

"I missed you," Remus heard himself saying. He added in a whisper, "Missed you so much." He wasn't just talking about this last trip.

Sirius grabbed his hands and pulled him forward again. "I know. I missed you."

Remus buried his face in the thick black hair, inhaling Sirius's clean scent gratefully. He felt Sirius's arms come around him, holding him tightly. A shiver of pleasure and happiness ran through his body. "This is good."

"Yes." A low murmur of contentment. "Let's never move."

He laughed, and felt Sirius's body shake in response. "Not even for food?" He teased.

"Oh ... We can have Harry fetch us snacks."

"Please. The sight of you like this would traumatize the poor boy for life." Remus moved a little; Sirius held on more tightly. "Siri, I just want my wand." He summoned it and cast a cleaning charm. "See?"

"All right." Sirius leaned back, pulling Remus down with him. They kissed again. "But no more moving. Understood?"

"Yes," he said. He rested his head on Sirius's shoulder. Staying right where he was sounded like an excellent idea to him, especially when Sirius started running his fingers through his hair. "I don't plan to go anywhere," he said.

"Good. I don't plan to let you go." Sirius kissed the top of his head.

They lay curled together on the sofa as the late afternoon light faded around them.

the end


End file.
